Last thursday, I experienced some kind of overdose on caffeine at work. It started off subtle and ended with me in a car on the way to the ER. Of course, somewhere in the middle, I could have been found doing a number of impressive things, like:
-screaming hysterically indoors
-crawling
-pacing around with my shoes and socks off
-gasping
-vomiting into my waste basket
-gracefully drinking water from the restroom's faucet
-whispering several chants for jesus to save me.
fortunately, after a quick visit to the ER, the doctor assured me I was going to be fine and that my condition was a common reaction to a mix of excedrin migraine and coffee. Feeling relieved that I wasn't dying of H1N1 or HIV, I went back to work to gather my belongings. Curiously, I found myself being consoled by co-workers that are (i'm 100% sure) bat shit crazier than me and the doorman that (i'm 100% sure) steals from our office..........fuck.
My boss then suggested that it might be good for me to take a week off to recover. Well, obviously, he's an idiot and naturally, I accepted.
I have since spent the entire time "recovering" by avoiding any kind of mental health authority, drinking vodka by the gallons, sleeping until 12pm, and playing beetle's rock band.
